


So damn cold without him

by s_a_b_i_n_e



Series: Destiel Oneshots (smut-free) [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Misses Castiel, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Hurt No Comfort, I hate it and I can't let it go, M/M, this is just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-28 23:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30147435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s_a_b_i_n_e/pseuds/s_a_b_i_n_e
Summary: A sad little drabble.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Destiel Oneshots (smut-free) [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022302
Comments: 9
Kudos: 10





	So damn cold without him

It's so damn cold without him. Not on a physical level, no. But deep inside of his very soul. Of course, he puts on a brave face for Sammy, plunges into work, eats pie that tastes like molecules. Dean chuckles about the irony as he sputters empty phrases, squinting against the sun that holds no warmth that could reach the empty, cold part of his heart, angel-shaped and fraying on the edges.

It's so damn cold without him. So cold that he forgets the words that are tattooed in his mind, but hidden behind an insurmountable wall. He's good at hiding the pain, behind cocky smiles, silly jokes, and stupid wordplays. Sam lets them slide more often than not and Dean hates it. Hates that Sammy wraps him up in cotton wool, consciously or not. It doesn't matter. It only puts a spotlight on the things he doesn't want to look at. Cold, artificial light screaming, "Look at that broken-hearted guy and pity him."

It's so damn cold without him. Without his foolish decisions, and without his leaving, and without the anger, and the pain, and their stupid quarrels, and their silences. Those weren't their finest moments, but it was _something_. Friction. And with friction came warmth, and life, and hope. But hope died out when the Empty took him. It lived up to its name. It isn't only, it brings it, too.

It's so damn cold without him and Dean doesn't know if he will ever find warmth again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Share your thoughts with me. 💚💙


End file.
